"TAKE ME OUT WITH THE CROWD"

Why was – and should be again – baseball “America’s pastime”?

Last night’s game ended in excitement that is hard to beat by any form of entertainment. That’s why.

It matters not where or when or by whom. That’s why no names are used here.*

Leading 5-2, the Home Team went down in order in the bottom of the eighth. A happy ending appeared certain as the Visitors’ bottom of the order came to bat in the top of the ninth. True to baseball’ statistical expectations, outfield flies were caught for outs one and two. The closer was doing his job.

As the top of the order came up, fans were disappointed as batter three got a base-on-balls.

Still another and greater disappointment: pitcher and catcher allow the runner to advance. Then, another walk!

Drama builds. The Visitor’s leading hitter with a .355 average toes the plate. The crowd, on its feet, makes the noise the Home Team wants. Unrelenting cheers.

Back of the plate the umpire lets the balls speak for themselves; calls the strikes. Foul balls speak for themselves. Tension grows. The crowd increases its noise. The count stands at 3 and 2.

The winning run – unthinkable ten minutes before – would cross home plate with a homer.

Just one more pitch could do it. There were several (real fans know the number, even now).

POW! A shot heads for the right field fence.

All eyes and head follow the low arc.

The right fielder jumps.

His glove reaches above the fence railing.

It gets in between a nanosecond before the ball can cross the fence.

The ball sticks in the fielder’s glove as his feet hit the ground.

Crowd noise explodes to eardrum bursting.

Another win to keeps the Home Team’s record above the .500 mark.

One hundred and 121 games to go. More thrills to come, whether on TV or, better, at the park with a hotdog and a beer to wash it down.

* For the record: Mets at Nationals, 5/16/14.

DO WE WANT BABIES TO VOTE?

Bill Clinton suggests it might be a good idea to put photos on Social Security cards, which would make photo-ID more acceptable to insure fraud-free voting.

Several people leaped to his support. Some, however, noted that such a change could lead to a national identification card, which is questioned by concerned people up and down the political spectrum.

Did anyone, however, point out the obvious reason not to mess SS cards?

Many of them are issued to infants. What good would photographs do when the little one grows old enough to exercise the franchise?

Social Security cards were intended to last for life. They were meant only for a hand-up for retirement. And, by the way, no one was ever to know your SSN for any reason other than employers – as an example – for assuring credit was made to the holder’s account.

When I got my card at age 15 in 1942, a bare six years after the law became effective in 1936, I was told to hold my number in strictest confidence.  Now, every merchant granting credit has it, among many others.

So, were photos now to be added to that card – now worn and nearly tattered (oh yes, by law a holder may not enfold his card in plastic for preservation) – it would have to be a new card. For younger people, cards would need to be reissued with new photos many times to keep them useful.

Something simple practicality such as the need for many updates of cards is just overlooked, or it would seem from press reports.  

Nonetheless, it is good that needed safeguards for restricting voting to citizens is recognized in some unexpected quarters.

Eh? Yeah, I guess Clinton’s suggestion implied citizenship.

STRIKE OR STUDY

His ruling may not stand, but the National Labor Relations Board Chicago director’s decision that Northwestern University football players can unionize could change college sports for a long time to come.

Say that the NLRB preliminary stand prevails, someday every college athlete, regardless of sport or sex, or attendance at a private or a public school would be a professional. Higher education institutions would become the minors for the NFL, MLB, NHL and so on and so on. There would be students and athletic employees on each campus. Maybe the union members would be required to attend class only because tuition was part of their pay. Would they even have to study and earn degrees?

Would Siwash U still live in the memories of old grads and their estate plans? Would alumni gather on Friday nights for pep rallies? Would famous All-Americans playing for the Packers or the Giants or whomever stand on the sidelines Saturday afternoons cheering on paid performers rather than undergrads?

Of course, everybody from local brew swillers to vintage connoisseurs will still go nuts when their squad wins the Lombardi trophy. Some will still go to the AAA ball yards to watch future big leaguers. And high school football in Texas will bring out rabid fans on Friday nights. Indiana high schools will still see their gym’s stands rocking on game nights.

But will college students, who have to pay extra student fees for game tickets, attach themselves to fellow “students” that draw paychecks for the supposed glory of Old Siwash? Would not the tuition-payers wonder whether or not the employee representing their would-be alma mater might jump ship for a pay hike? And parents --- those with kids making money while enrolled in college would be more grateful than present parents of sport-scholarship holders; those just paying tuition for a kid hoping to get a good job after graduation might feel different about laying out all that money.

So what? College sports, particularly big time football and Sweet Sixteen basketball contenders, already have national stars with followings not unlike those of National Football League luminaries and National Basketball League bling bearers.

Three questions:

·        Will fans dig deeper for higher college sports tickets?

·        Will alumni and alumnae still generate the same nostalgia for their schools?

·        Will paid athletes that don’t win jobs with professional teams after four years be left in the lurch?

Paying so-called students who perform in the athletic arenas – ones who probably will strike if their playing conditions and paychecks are not improved frequently – will drastically alter the way Americans have looked at college sports for more than a century now.

Professionalism will also turn athletic directors into a new form of entrepreneur. Head coaches, already making far more than their university-president bosses, probably won’t change as much, other than their attitude toward their charges, who will become more like chattel than future societal leaders.

Or – maybe, just maybe – universities that have actually paid off the mortgages on those giant stadia and field houses would revert to true amateurism in sports. That would prove refreshing. Young athletes could gain admission and then try to “walk on” to the pigskin squad and relish representing Siwash against State and the other teams in a regional conference whose name did not stretch geographic definitions.

Top players could still graduate into the pros.

That would refresh academe.

A-Z ALLITERATIONS

Apple analogies always annoy Android.

Bankers bank Bitcoins before bankruptcy.

Can cantankerous Camels conquer cancer?

Damaging damns during draining diatribes deemed dangerous.

Engaging engineers entwine exigencies exiting energy exercises.

Freakin’ fabrications foil faithful fable fosterers.

Great globs glue gleaming gastronomical gizmos.

High-strung Henrietta hails hack haltingly.

Instant iPhones instigate investigation.

Jelly jiggles joyfully joining junior’s jumper.

King Kong kicks Kipling’s kangaroo.

Lanky longshoreman lassoes loose llama.

Mawkish macaw masticates mate’s mash.

Noteworthy notaries nix nasturtium network.

Octopus occupies octogenarian’s ocarina.

Pius pensioner pushes pink pinafores.

Quaint quack quickens quivering quaff.

Roofer rips rompers razing ragtag ridgepole.

Silly Sally slips solecisms selling sports.

Titillating tattlers tender tall tales to tattletales.

Ukrainians unveil ukase undercutting unicorn understanding.

Valiant valet vaulted valley vanquishing Volker.

Washington wag wishes Walmart well whacking wage warriors.

Xavier Xeroxes Xmas X-Box.

Yankee yanked yak yesterday.

Zack zaps zinnia zombie.

ANNOYING ALPHABETIC ALLITERATIONS

Alliteration almost always amalgamates advocates avowing adverbial acrobatic antics anchoring aggravating announcements and adversarial aliens aligning any anecdotal apprehensions available. Ahem!

Basic babyhood begs boyhood ballyhoo before beguiling beautiful babe batting baby-blues bewitchingly.

Cough cancels Carl's conjoining Cheesehead chopsuey cohort conclave.

Doughnuts devour dollars delivering delicious delights deviously denying desirable derriere dimensions.

Easy enterprises exhaust electrifying elementary elocution emasculating energetic educational excellence exceedingly enervating enfeebled evasiveness.

Flat feet flabbergast fledgling fielders flagging flies falling fleetly from fouling fellers.

Giggling gigolos glare glowingly glad-handing gangling girls gaily gaining grotesque grams gradually.

Hens holding hands haltingly hear hollering hellions hanging halters heifers hate.

Izzy insists inking investment instrument instinctively involves instant insanity, insecurity indubitably.

Jazz junkies jamming jinx jerks juggling javelins joyfully jigging.

Kitchens keep ketchup kettles.

Look, Lizzie leaps leopards lazily lassoing lollygagging llamas.

Migrating moose mosey mountain-ward miming misunderstood mammals minding masticating minions.

Nostrums neither negate nor nettle notoriously negative nemeses.

Oleaginous onions offend oleomargarine operative.

Pallid pallbearer parades parquet preceding platypus planting,

Quaker qualms quiet quarrels.

Rally Rotarians render raucous rondos recounting racy reunion roguishness.

Sassy senorita sashays sideways sloshing Singapore Sling so senor senses serious sensibilities.

Tormented toreador treads tenderly tending tipping tequila toward tongue.

Unfortunate unctuous uncle understands unicycle union upsurge.

Vacuous vegetarian vandalizes veldt vouchsafed voluntarily.

Wacko weirdo wacked while watching Washington wastrels.

Xenophobe xerographs Xerxes’ X-ray.

Yahoo yanks yammering yeoman.

 Zany Zulu zaps zebra.

PENNIES EARNED

 

Is there one penny of governmental revenue that does not somehow originate in business?

Obviously, the answer is no.

At any level of government, from sewerage district to the federal establishment, business earnings pay all the bills (or build the debt), directly or indirectly. Yet, how often does a politician cite that basic tenant of government finance?

Seldom, if ever, it would seem.

Even truly non-profit enterprises, such as charities, raise money from people who have it. They pay salaries, which in turn are taxable. For-profit organizations sell products or offer services or combine both for money derived from customers, who get their money from working or from inheritance. But even inherited money had to come from work-produced income sometime.

Thinking caps can come up with no source not connected somehow with business. Even treasure uncovered from the earth or dredged from a sunken galleon somehow had to be derived from licit or even illicit work that was somehow taxed.

So does this mean entrepreneurship and business enterprise are always good. Again, obviously, not. Leaving criminality aside, not all legitimate businesses are ethical. That, also, is a given. Government has a place to oversee administration of justice in keeping business honest.

Elected and appointed governmental officials at all levels often show no acknowledgment of the true source of public revenue. How could they when they ignore deficits and debt in running – or ruining -- the machinery of government?

We citizens will get no relief from the oppressive governments we unwittingly have put into place until we demand through the ballot box our due.

Partisan politics has not been conducive to providing the commonweal. But we are stuck with it. Thus, we must pick and choose between candidates, regardless of the party flag they fly, to find those truly willing to work for the good of all rather than for a career slurping business-produced revenue for their personal egos.

Workable government, even if it might require more revenue, is dependent upon the golden egg of private enterprise. Protecting the goose is everyone’s concern. But force feeding the goose for political foie gras is not right, either. All that’s needed is to recognize that the healthy goose keeps laying eggs if permitted to range relatively free.

PLAYER OR REFEREE

Fifty years of war on poverty. Twenty trillion, 700 billion tax dollars spent. Poor people still some 14 percent of the population, meaning more now than in 1964.

LBJ, in declaring the war, said he wanted to replace poverty with jobs. Some tax “investment” was needed to accomplish that, he said. Lyndon Byrd Johnson was wrong. Barrack Hussein Obama is wrong in seeking to spend more and more on continuing the tax-funded “weapons” in that unending war.

Two real attacks, which might be called principles, could reduce poverty (poverty may never be eliminated because of the nature of humanity).

Teach youth Reading, ‘Riting and ‘Rithmatic.

Foster an economic climate that encourages business in all its form.

First, teaching is the job of parents, who must demand that schools do their jobs, too.

Secondly, voters must demand that government at all levels recognize the reality that each tax dollar is generated by private commerce, and that each dollar belongs to the governed not to the governors.

Putting those principles into effect will be pretty hard to do with the present climate in this country. The family is in trouble. Governmental functionaries think they know all the answers.

Voters must learn more facts. They must try to spread those facts. They must agitate.

Then they must vote the rascals out. They must vote in common sense people intent upon letting the American system work – imposing only meaningful restraints, eliminating the fanciful – for the benefit of all.

Rich, poor, middle class all can gain when government stops playing and just referees.